Something I've wanted to write about lately is fear. It can be such an all-consuming, paralyzing force in my life, but as I keep struggling with it, I see more and more how God is stronger--He's worked His victory in my life in this area and will continue to if I let Him.
The ironic thing is that I am afraid to write about fear.
My mind: they're not going to understand, it's not going to be good enough, they're going to read this and think I'm not good enough to be an English major, it's not going to have the kind of impact that I want it to, it's not going to make a difference,...you get the picture.
So, to conquer this fear of having lame blog posts, I'm going to write a potentially lame blog post. That's right, I'm going to just write these words as they come out. Just because I can.
Here my mind has several scattered directions I could go with this thing...
I really want to write a song about fear. The title would be "Not A Slave Anymore," based off Romans 8:15, "For you did not receive a Spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but a Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba,Father.'"
There have been years of my life where I literally felt like a slave to fear: fear of what other people think, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of my life not mattering, fear...just, fear.
I have forced these words into the chaos of my soul time and time again. And it's true, I'm not a slave. My Abba has been so good, setting me free time and time again.
But I still let myself be enslaved.
Sometimes I feel like fear grows the more you focus on it too. Like, when you stop looking at it so intensely, it starts to fade.
Someone once told me, "Don't look inward, look upward." Amazing how powerful that can be...especially for an obsessively introspective person like me.
Okay, well, that is all for now. Someday I might come back on here and say something brilliant about fear, but for now I'm content just to step out and try to conquer one of them. I'm actually not even going to edit this post. I'm just going to post it.
Thanks if you took the time to make your way through these scattered thoughts. I'd love to hear yours:
What are some of the fears you have seen or are seeing God's victory over? How did you reach that place of freedom?
Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteFear is something I've struggled with time and again. Fear of not making others happy, of offending, of losing loved ones. God has not given us a spirit of fear. Satan uses it as one of his most powerful tools. Fear is faith in the enemy. God is faithful to pull us through. And, by the way, your post isn't lame. You do a good job of writing.
Love,
Rhonda